I spend too much time at this computer, I know I do. My writing is online, most of my friends are online, the games I play are online. It's easy to break up the day with cyberspace.
But today I've been out most of the day. Being social. And none of it was planned.
This morning I waited for my SIL (Sister-In-Law) at the school gates to walk back down the street. She wasn't going home, but asked me to buy a pint of milk for her other half who was waiting at home for a new fridge to be delivered. No problems. I bought the pint and dropped it in... and stayed for two hours. And not for the first time.
It's been a while since I made a new real-life friend. Most of the mums at the school gate are simply not on my wavelength and my social life rarely strays beyond that. I don't go to pubs and clubs (too noisy), I don't have a job and my hobbies are solitary.
But SIL's partner is a real gem, we get on really well. He laughs at my jokes and in turn makes me laugh. We can talk about intellectual stuff, but also inane drivel. I had worried - a little - that he put up with my company, after all, family is family and sometimes it's best to grin and bear the annoying relations. But no, today he actually said that we were friends.
After school I picked up a gaggle of small girls and went back to their house to drop three of them off - the fridge was still on its way - and stayed another two hours. SIL, A and I had a blast. It's been more than a while since I felt I could just drop in somewhere and feel welcome. And that's as much a problem in my head than an actual fact, but today I was happy, laughing and social.
And you can't ask for more than that.
Monday, 22 June 2009
Saturday, 20 June 2009
Against The Night
I'm listening to winamp as I'm writing this, and a guy called Jason Webley. In the last few years his music has become somewhat of an obsession. The first song I heard was Map . I came across it whilst browsing myspace and I listened to it on repeat for about two hours. It wasn't just his voice - which, by the way, is gorgeous - but the lyrics and music.
Map starts off with an instrumental intro that is swooping, sorrowful and spine-tingling. Then his voice kicks in. I walked across a continent where children did not bat an eye when made to watch their mothers die, they left the bodies by the sides of roads. Quite clearly, this is not a song bowing to the usual tropes of sex, lust and whatever other tripe most songwriters come up with. No, this was deeper, evocative and strange.
Then after this lyric She grew cold and softly said: I am not your lover, I'm just the map you used to find them his voice does something beautiful, it swoops and soars. I was lost. Cellos, violins, oboes and in the background, what sounds like a xylophone. The mix is heady and enticing. It was only an introduction to the genius of this man.
One of the next few songs I discovered through the miracle of the interwebs was Dance Whilst the Sky Crashes Down , which is, as he has been known to say: "The most cheerful song I know... about death!" And cheerful it is, with a jaunty rhythm and the European sound of the accordian, and in the background some percussion instrument. And again, fantastic lyrics: When the stakes are high, best to play the clown . His sense of humour shines through here, the song is dark but not melancholy.
And then a third song completely turned everything around. Eleven saints . A song that begins And if my cat looks scared, it's because it knows it's not going to heaven. Pure silliness. It's hard to believe it came from the same artist, but it has Webley stamped all over it; genius lyrics, great melodies and that voice of his. Eleven saints is a collaboration between Jason and Jay Thompson. This sense of fun was confirmed when browsing through youtube, most of his songs on youtube are not serious, there's a cover of Hey Ya, a slightly altered version of No woman, No fly and The Sneezing Song. Which is best sung by six year olds. This is a man with a song for every taste.
And he's fabulous live. I saw him in some pub in Manchester, in all his bottle-shaking, foot-stamping glory. But Jason is a man who is accessable. After the show I had a chance to briefly talk to him. He's truly a lovely guy.
And the song I was listening to when I started this blog post? Against the night. Soothing, beautiful and well worth a listen.
Map starts off with an instrumental intro that is swooping, sorrowful and spine-tingling. Then his voice kicks in. I walked across a continent where children did not bat an eye when made to watch their mothers die, they left the bodies by the sides of roads. Quite clearly, this is not a song bowing to the usual tropes of sex, lust and whatever other tripe most songwriters come up with. No, this was deeper, evocative and strange.
Then after this lyric She grew cold and softly said: I am not your lover, I'm just the map you used to find them his voice does something beautiful, it swoops and soars. I was lost. Cellos, violins, oboes and in the background, what sounds like a xylophone. The mix is heady and enticing. It was only an introduction to the genius of this man.
One of the next few songs I discovered through the miracle of the interwebs was Dance Whilst the Sky Crashes Down , which is, as he has been known to say: "The most cheerful song I know... about death!" And cheerful it is, with a jaunty rhythm and the European sound of the accordian, and in the background some percussion instrument. And again, fantastic lyrics: When the stakes are high, best to play the clown . His sense of humour shines through here, the song is dark but not melancholy.
And then a third song completely turned everything around. Eleven saints . A song that begins And if my cat looks scared, it's because it knows it's not going to heaven. Pure silliness. It's hard to believe it came from the same artist, but it has Webley stamped all over it; genius lyrics, great melodies and that voice of his. Eleven saints is a collaboration between Jason and Jay Thompson. This sense of fun was confirmed when browsing through youtube, most of his songs on youtube are not serious, there's a cover of Hey Ya, a slightly altered version of No woman, No fly and The Sneezing Song. Which is best sung by six year olds. This is a man with a song for every taste.
And he's fabulous live. I saw him in some pub in Manchester, in all his bottle-shaking, foot-stamping glory. But Jason is a man who is accessable. After the show I had a chance to briefly talk to him. He's truly a lovely guy.
And the song I was listening to when I started this blog post? Against the night. Soothing, beautiful and well worth a listen.
Thursday, 18 June 2009
Happy daze
Today is a good day. I have finally cracked the fantasy plot that I've been stressing about for days (weeks) on end. So now I have something to work with. I've got some decent characters, a Big Bad for them to rail against, and a reason for them to be working together and journeying into the unknown. Well, sort of, still more work to be done on that. But at least now I have something 'with legs' and I can build on that.
Dh is back on his 'at-work' week. so he's out of my way all week. Dd1 has now left school, but she's been at the boyfs all day so I've had some much needed head-space. Still waiting for my open uni pack to come through, or rather the second pack as the first seems to have gone awry in transit. Also awaiting some money that usually comes in monthly but it's been over five weeks. Bit of a bummer, I was counting on that to pay for Ds's cinema trip next week.
Still, the sun is shining and the kids are not beating each other up that much so I'm a happy bunny today.
Dh is back on his 'at-work' week. so he's out of my way all week. Dd1 has now left school, but she's been at the boyfs all day so I've had some much needed head-space. Still waiting for my open uni pack to come through, or rather the second pack as the first seems to have gone awry in transit. Also awaiting some money that usually comes in monthly but it's been over five weeks. Bit of a bummer, I was counting on that to pay for Ds's cinema trip next week.
Still, the sun is shining and the kids are not beating each other up that much so I'm a happy bunny today.
Tuesday, 16 June 2009
Bored. Frustrated. Irritated.
Three words that sum up today perfectly.
One of those days where every little irritant is a big irritant, where I have more energy than ideas. Where the ideas I do have are too nebulous to pin down and every person in the house seems to be on a mission to annoy me. It's been dh's 'off-work' week and so he has been here all the time, dd1 has now all but left school and she has been here almost all day. I've had not a minute today where there hasn't been people - or the damn barky dog - around me.
Headspace. I need some, I didn't get any. Hence I am cranky.
And I'm still unable to write anything, which isn't exactly helping either. Or is not being helped by the headspace. Bah.
yours, the moody bitch.
One of those days where every little irritant is a big irritant, where I have more energy than ideas. Where the ideas I do have are too nebulous to pin down and every person in the house seems to be on a mission to annoy me. It's been dh's 'off-work' week and so he has been here all the time, dd1 has now all but left school and she has been here almost all day. I've had not a minute today where there hasn't been people - or the damn barky dog - around me.
Headspace. I need some, I didn't get any. Hence I am cranky.
And I'm still unable to write anything, which isn't exactly helping either. Or is not being helped by the headspace. Bah.
yours, the moody bitch.
Monday, 15 June 2009
At the Mela
We went to the Mela yesterday, when I say 'we', I mean me and the two younger girls. I'd never taken them before, although I'd been several times with dd1 and ds when they were tiny. It hasn't changed much, but I think it has got bigger. It has also changed locations, the first few times I went, it was in Lister Park, but moved a few years ago to Peel Park, which I like because it's within walking distance.
We set off in a good mood and dh gave us a lift to the top of the park. He couldn't go any nearer because one half of Lister Lane was closed. As we walked down to Peel Park some numpty who must have assumed the road closure did not apply to him drove past up. What the numpty hadn't realised, was that the white car behind him came fully equipped with a siren. Note to numpty driver, best not ignore road signs when being followed by an unmarked police car. Oh, how I laughed.
At the park the girls were distinctly unimpressed with the dancers on stage, dd3 was more bothered about going in the playground, and by the fact she had sunscreen in her eye. Not good. Fortunately tissues and cold water sorted the eye and we made our way towards the pond. There was a tent with a single cello playing, and whilst that was beautiful, it didn't hold their interest either. So we walked up the very steep bank to the top of the park where the main action was.
Several stages, a field full of stores, charities and activities. There was plenty to do and see (and buy) up there. We spent a little time looking at the Lord Mayor's Parade tent and spoke to a woman on stilts but soon the girls wanted to be off. It was then we found 'The Hive'. A set of tents with a bee theme. Neither child wanted to learn how to do a waggle dance, nor to make a bee kazoo, but were tempted into planting a couple of seeds and making a flower picture with grains of coloured rice.
Finally I gave in and we went to the 'top playground'. Peel Park has two. The 'top' one is for smaller children and is less busy. The 'bottom' one has more to play on, and far more children in it usually. After that, they went on some sort of enclosed inflatable thing. I think it was supposed to be a pirate ship, but beyond that, I couldn't say.
By this point the crowds were getting to be a bit much for them and it was with cheerful faces that we decided to visit my Grandma who lives close by. All in all not a bad day out.
We set off in a good mood and dh gave us a lift to the top of the park. He couldn't go any nearer because one half of Lister Lane was closed. As we walked down to Peel Park some numpty who must have assumed the road closure did not apply to him drove past up. What the numpty hadn't realised, was that the white car behind him came fully equipped with a siren. Note to numpty driver, best not ignore road signs when being followed by an unmarked police car. Oh, how I laughed.
At the park the girls were distinctly unimpressed with the dancers on stage, dd3 was more bothered about going in the playground, and by the fact she had sunscreen in her eye. Not good. Fortunately tissues and cold water sorted the eye and we made our way towards the pond. There was a tent with a single cello playing, and whilst that was beautiful, it didn't hold their interest either. So we walked up the very steep bank to the top of the park where the main action was.
Several stages, a field full of stores, charities and activities. There was plenty to do and see (and buy) up there. We spent a little time looking at the Lord Mayor's Parade tent and spoke to a woman on stilts but soon the girls wanted to be off. It was then we found 'The Hive'. A set of tents with a bee theme. Neither child wanted to learn how to do a waggle dance, nor to make a bee kazoo, but were tempted into planting a couple of seeds and making a flower picture with grains of coloured rice.
Finally I gave in and we went to the 'top playground'. Peel Park has two. The 'top' one is for smaller children and is less busy. The 'bottom' one has more to play on, and far more children in it usually. After that, they went on some sort of enclosed inflatable thing. I think it was supposed to be a pirate ship, but beyond that, I couldn't say.
By this point the crowds were getting to be a bit much for them and it was with cheerful faces that we decided to visit my Grandma who lives close by. All in all not a bad day out.
Friday, 12 June 2009
How Quickly Time Runs Through Our Fingers
It's Friday again. Well, just into Friday, we're talking minutes and half hours. I haven't blogged for days. Partly because I've been busy and partly because I just couldn't think of anything. This post would have appeared before midnight had I not spent two hours catching up on the latest episodes of Carnivale and Six Feet Under (series 4) , both of which I'm watching on Virgin Media's TV Choice service. We're up to episode 10 on each now. I do love a good drama.
I'm having problems with the Summer Of Fantasy thing. I don't read fantasy, I don't write fantasy (not writing much of anything at the moment) so why I signed up for it, I don't know. I'm in yet another of my all too frequent writing crises. My Dad actually suggested that if I find it so hard, why don't I stop, try something else? That's a toughie. I've always written, since I was small. It used to be a lot easier. Then I began to take it seriously and now it's hard. It's a confidence thing, a perfectionist thing, a pressure thing.
It doesn't help that I can't plan a novel. I find it far easier to simply start writing and things will happen as I type. Characters appear, the story untangles and somewhere by the end I know what it's all about. That wouldn't be a problem, except that from there I ought to take all the elements and edit the hell out of them before rewriting the whole thing. That's not something I've managed so far.
So I know where I'm failing as a writer: discipline, plotting and editing. That's a start. And a little self-assurance would be good too. Maybe what I really need is just to throw all the instructions out of the window and just write. After all, I've written four and a half novels during NaNoWriMo, it's the rest of the year I struggle with.
I'm having problems with the Summer Of Fantasy thing. I don't read fantasy, I don't write fantasy (not writing much of anything at the moment) so why I signed up for it, I don't know. I'm in yet another of my all too frequent writing crises. My Dad actually suggested that if I find it so hard, why don't I stop, try something else? That's a toughie. I've always written, since I was small. It used to be a lot easier. Then I began to take it seriously and now it's hard. It's a confidence thing, a perfectionist thing, a pressure thing.
It doesn't help that I can't plan a novel. I find it far easier to simply start writing and things will happen as I type. Characters appear, the story untangles and somewhere by the end I know what it's all about. That wouldn't be a problem, except that from there I ought to take all the elements and edit the hell out of them before rewriting the whole thing. That's not something I've managed so far.
So I know where I'm failing as a writer: discipline, plotting and editing. That's a start. And a little self-assurance would be good too. Maybe what I really need is just to throw all the instructions out of the window and just write. After all, I've written four and a half novels during NaNoWriMo, it's the rest of the year I struggle with.
Sunday, 7 June 2009
Things Your Brain Can't Process
It's the season of birthdays here at the hovel, I have three in just over three weeks. dd2 was 8 a week or so back, dd3 will be 6 this week and ds has his 14th birthday a fortnight today. And something occurred to me. Dd2 was born on a monday, so was dd3. So why are their birthdays this year on Thursday and Tuesday? Surely they should still both be on the same day of the week? I puzzled over this all afternoon. I still don't get it. Dh said that when dd3 is 8, her birthday with be on a Thursday too. I'm still no wiser.
Some things just do not make sense to me.
I'm rather tired today, last night dh went out with his sister and her partner, dd1 went over to babysit for my gaggle of nieces. They didn't get home until 3am. Dirty stop-outs! Ds and I spent a happy evening drawing maps on the back of wallpaper and watching 'Signs' I didn't know it was about aliens because I'd missed the beginning. The suspense was really getting to me. Still, ds is an avid alien fan and we enjoyed the film. So much so that he watched it at his father's place today. He informed me that it's about the miracle of things coming together as much as aliens.
That's me told then.
Some things just do not make sense to me.
I'm rather tired today, last night dh went out with his sister and her partner, dd1 went over to babysit for my gaggle of nieces. They didn't get home until 3am. Dirty stop-outs! Ds and I spent a happy evening drawing maps on the back of wallpaper and watching 'Signs' I didn't know it was about aliens because I'd missed the beginning. The suspense was really getting to me. Still, ds is an avid alien fan and we enjoyed the film. So much so that he watched it at his father's place today. He informed me that it's about the miracle of things coming together as much as aliens.
That's me told then.
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