I'm coming to a realisation. My life is dreary and uninspiring. Is it then so surprising that my writing of late has been abortive and lacking in life? No, the two things are surely connected. I feel that I'm having a mid-life crisis, even if I'm a little on the young side to be considered mid-life. (On the other hand, if I cark it in my sixties then it's right on time.) So things have to change.
I ran into an old friend the other day, a woman who had childminded my older children when I attempted a college course in my early twenties. It had not been a good time of life, the kids were young and divorce was looming. The next few years were also not good. In fact, my twenties were hard, frequently very stressful and I spent most of them clinically depressed. Anyhoo, I digress.
This woman and I hadn't seen each other for a year or two, we chatted and she asked me what I was up to. Nothing much. She was surprised, asked if I had thought about going back to college or something. Yes, the last time had not ended in a qualification but I had gotten good marks (even a distinction or two for assignments) and I clearly had the intelligence to go far.
So I've been thinking about doing something - anything - to get my brain back into gear, to find some direction in my life. My young children are now at full time school, my older children are teenagers, my role as a full-time parent is more or less ended. Now that my days are no longer spent changing nappies and supervising toddlers, I need to create a new identity.
So I'm going to enrol in the open university and make those first steps towards a degree. Now all I have to decide is what course to enrol on....